Reunions: Detox for the soul

There are days that you have fun and there are days that are special. One of the ways to increase the number of special days is attending reunions with people you grew up back in school or college.

But then you will wonder if you should really go.To that particular reunion. 

Because, all of a sudden —you will come across a group of people wanting to just come together for the heck of it. Just be together for a few days and no element of practical or logical mind of yours will be able to explain the forces behind such an event.

And then in the likely event that it happens, you will be asked to connect with people you haven’t connected with for a long time. Or you would have not known for a long time.

And you will keep wondering if you should go. There would be a big WHY question. WHY go to a reunion? Why, why, why? The negatives might seem to outweigh the positives, at least at first. You will wonder if one-upmanship will rear its ugly head. Or if you will be forced into a box you have worked so hard to break free from over the last few years. Or if you will remember anyone or worse...whether anyone will remember you.

But maybe … you should go. At least show up for a while. Maybe, because the benefit will show up. Surprising benefit. Benefit that will be hard to articulate up front, because you won’t know it exists until you are there.

You won’t know what impact you might have. You won’t know what impact it might have on you.

Unless you go.

Yes ;  I have attended a few reunions.....school mates and college ones. And I write this on this final day of a college hostel mates reunion...Hostel no.3, Punjab University,Chandigarh. This is place I lived for four long and memorable years and graduated to become engineers for a lifetime. As it turns out and understandably so, it worked out different for all of us and the guys now are in different places, doing different things, some quite successful, some not so and some still working on it. Some had trying times and some still passing through some.

I admit, on the first reunion some years back, when I walked through the hotel door where the group was holding out, my heart was pounding with anticipation.

It had been a while.

But there in the room stood a few guys with the same old...same old persona. Some guys who looked nearly the same and others very different from how they were. Some bit outspoken and others who just wanted to be present and enjoy the moment. Some trying to size up with others and some others who did not care. The talk came next and it revolved more or less about tough days and how we all managed to rough it out. How life treated you, how people treated you and what made you the person you are now. No hold barred, just speak your mind stuff....just like old times. 

I noticed that people start sharing more when the discussion warms up. The talk goes deep about many things. Success in jobs. Failure in jobs. Triumph in relationships. Sorrow in relationships. Good times and difficult times. Instances recalled and revised to memory. Exchanging the likes and dislikes of our children, who are growing up fast with every reunion. There were stories recalled of struggles of everyone and some who did not have any.

The wisdom of years, and the grace of being given what wasn’t deserved.

Some of us shared some events. Certain things about other were known without being shared. But everyone cared and were sensitive enough not to discuss that. Some issues were just laughed away like the Dahi- bhalla of Gopals and the Ras –malai of Bikanerwala.(although lot of effort went behind it).

We talked of guys on which some of us survived in college for their notes. Then there were those  who we all thought about and gave a ring at the  dead of the night(in their time zones). There was someone who had lost their loved ones and others who had come all the way to meet up with ailing relatives. Our thoughts were with them and they knew that that was true.

We remember  classmates no longer alive and others not traceable even in this day and age. We recalled a guy who had left us all for the heavenly abode  and  we remembered him in tribute and kept a two minute silence ( Vijay Thakur : RIP, you will always be missed in all such reunions). There was also stories about guys who had troubled relationships and were still trying to get over it. The world can be a brutal place to be in.

And just by saying that all will be well and sending blessings their way was enough.There were guys who had battled cancer. And who  told their story of the battle and victory. One another was fighting it out and  Winning. Winning. Winning.

There also are stories of old flames and certain clarifications came from unexpected quarters  as we all opened up and then everything fell in place.

Just keep talking and sharing. This time around, we talked all evening and late into the wee hours. We talked some more the next day at dinner at our favourite haunt – ‘Ghazal’, where more classmates came. We talked after dinner and had a round of Sector 17, Chandigarh trying to recall various places of what all had not changed and what all had. The late night movies and tickets of the Amitabh Bacchan starrer –‘Hum’ and ‘Sirroco’ bought in black were also a hot topic.

The more reunions I attend, I see more openness and less shallowness from everyone. It turns out that it is all about valuing the people from your past and sincerely valuing  the moment, gathered with these people we had  known for so long.

On the morning of the final day, we sat together getting things to eat from the elaborate buffet. It was a feeling of being back in time, being able to just be yourself as we spent time talking and laughing (and swearing with Punjabi expletives) with all the stories and tears. .  

Taking time out to spend a few days  in a place where we spent the formative periods of our lives can cleanse you of the negative energies and make you  more emotionally resilient in a way.

This is highly recommended by me too. While we see good turnout of people who just want to travel back in time, its a time to keep these bonds strong forever. Forever.

What had made this experience the way it was. The depth of the combined experience over the years had proved more powerful than could ever be fully described. Rather, the power in the reunion had emerged from our togetherness. We were just happy to still be here. Happy to be alive. Happy to be at peace with each other. Happy that today a new banner flew over us—and I’ll use this word even if it sounds a bit cheesy—

A banner of love.

This I would say with a prayer to the lord almighty :

I pray for healing of all the souls. Because it was clear the years had hurt everyone. I also pray for gratitude over us. Thankful to the Creator for the people from our pasts, the people who proved so valuable yesterday and today. So very valuable.

That’s how I would like to close our college hostel reunion. The class of 1994. With this unforeseen and powerful benefit.

And you?

Soon you will be invited to a reunion.

You will wonder if you should go … 

Go. 

P.S. : Written with inputs from a blog byMarcus Brotherton.

Break on through to the other side

So today on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, somewhere nearby I hear this popular song play by ''The Doors'' - Break on through to the other side. The thing about these highly popular  songs is that everyone can relate  to it  in some way or the other and I also had my own reasons for that.  My reason, though, was probably  much different from what usually flashes.

  My reason was of survival on one of the grueling high altitude road trips in the upper Himalayan range. Here your physical  limits gets tested driving in rugged terrain, sometimes in temporary roads (which are often single-laned) and mind you- without mobile network. These kind of high altitude trips, without mobile telephony teach us that the basic things like air, water, food and shelter is all that we look for in such extreme conditions. Everything else is lower down in the priority list.  

        Also, the rigours of driving in high altitude only can be experienced in person. Only those who have undertaken such a journey can understand the true feeling of being cut off from the outside world, adapt to the very low density of populace on the roads and occasional diversions due to landslides and roadblocks due to  faulty vehicles. Not to mention the low level of oxygen in the blood. 

       And in that kind of environment brings the Baap ( read father) of all tests and that means at that moment nothing else matters - You got to reach the other side - correction - Break on through to the other side. So you muster all the courage and tell yourself to just cut yourself off from the surroundings and focus with a firm grip on the steering wheel. Don't think about the high altitude light headedness, ignore the anxious looks on the faces of co-passengers in the same vehicle and the rocks falling from the top of the mountain. 
      Also ignore ( with some difficulty) the vehicle next to you which has its bottom busted with oil dripping all over.  Focus coherently on the running and hollering BRO ( Border Roads Organisation) supermen who are signalling by whistling whenever there would be large rocks sighted coming down at a the road ahead. Focus on the two trails ahead. Use the manhours used as a gaming freak and get your four wheels on the trail ahead.  

       After a uncomfortably long 30 odd minute wait for moving on the road, we were finally given a green signal only to reverse back because the mountain Gods still were not finished. But finally I made it through.... with three souls depending on poor me. My brother shared this video film of the entire incident later who had already crossed over- or Broke thorough to the other side earlier. In case you cant get the link above, you can also  see the video here 
            Thank you mountain Gods near Nako, Spiti. Thank you and Julley.

"What you are is what you have been.

What you’ll be is what you do now."

-The Buddha

                  

Emergency in Mid Air

Humans are not designed for flying. Had that been the case, we all would have hollow bones, feathers, tails with weight one fourth of our current selves. But humans will be humans. They will try everything to get what they want. And then over the years they have been quite successful. From helium fill balloons to propeller aircraft and now the current jet engine which flies at 35000 ft. Of course, if you keep on outdoing things that you are not supposed to, there are bound to be risks. Although the risk now is lower than the nascent times in flying, you can’t wish it away and all those who have been in the air have surely lived through a few uncomfortable  instances.

Ask any mechanical engineer about  an aircraft and he will tell you all the things that can possibly go wrong. Right from the air conditioning to hydraulic/instrument failure/wing icing  etc. Also there have been recent strange instances that have happened to crafts with a few of them vanishing, aircrafts catching fire, mid-air collisions and what not. No one knows about all the aircraft issues in the air force and army because they usually do not see the light of day.

So…have you ever been in a flight which went not exactly as you planned it would. i.e ending with an announcement telling you which belt your luggage would be. And you felt as helpless as the passengers in the ‘ The Burning Train’. Well, I have been on exactly such a flight…..

It was  flight I took some time ago and this particular day, the one and half hour flight from Hyderabad to Mumbai was nearly over. As usual, the captain announced the decent to Mumbai and crew got busy preparing for landing. Then the uncomfortable period of time commenced when the cabin lights dim out and the flight starts to align itself to the runway swaying just a wee bit here and there and you force yourself to look out of the window as looking inside the aircraft can make you more anxious with everything not as aligned. Knowing that landings are one of the most difficult maneuvers operationally and pilots taking a lot of time learning that skill does not make it any easier inside the contraption filled with recycled air and Aviation Turbine Fuel.

With all that on the back of the mind, a loud noise is the last thing anyone wants to hear.  About 8-9 rows behind, a few people started shouting and before you knew it, there were a few people running on the aisle towards the front of the plane. As  I was in an aisle seat somewhere in the center of the flight, I stood up instinctively and turned back to see what was wrong. To my horror I saw ( and I will always clearly recall the view ) two three large flashes and billowing smoke. This flashing appeared  like an electrical fire (I’d witnessed one earlier) near the window seat. OMG… I involuntarily said in a real life- ‘Dukh mein sumiran’ position. The smoke that billowed out of the said fire was dense and it was like one of the diwali sparklers smoking up if you light them up during the day. There was a curt sounding announcement advising everyone to get back to the seats immediately as the flight was  about to land.  That was for at least 10-15 people standing in the aisle who were in no mood to get back to their seats in a rush and  they just clinged on to what ever they could. I remember offering my arm to hold on to a person standing next to me. As he  grasped it tightly, I still remember the nod he gave to me. The plane landed smoothly which I feel was a commendable thing for the pilot to do under those circumstances as he was aware of the emergent situation inside the cabin. This was obvious when the plane reduced speed,around 2-3 fire engines lined up beside the plane.

The situation that followed that moment was totally unexpected. A group of guys (mostly foreigners from Africas, Hispanic and Far East Countries) started to celebrate impromptu. They took pictures of nearly all the people in the scared shitless poses…and it was something that did lighten the mood of everyone around them. Maybe they’ll skip bungee jumping now or whatever adventure they had planned for the next one year. The celebration was cut short by an authoritative lady voice on the com advising everyone to be calm and use the handkerchiefs on the noses. At the same time, a crew came rushing with a fire extinguisher which I thought looked like the police coming in at the end of the movie when all the action was over.

There was a lot of smoke around and since the source was unknown, the instinct was not to breathe in as the fumes could be toxic. The flight stopped and everyone was more than happy to get out of the flight. No one looked back even once.

I came to know about the cause of fire when I read the newspaper the next day. Holy smoke..I thought to myself…this was serious enough to come on the front page. A passenger had unknowingly kept small amount of chemicals together in his handbag  which got leaked and reacted causing the fire and smoke.

Well, this mid air crisis surely reminded everyone on that flight that there are times in life when you just have to sit tight and say OMG…because that’s the best one can do. Well, considering the history of man,  humans don’t tolerate that stuff for long. So enjoy the good airline  food and inflight movies while you can because someone, somewhere, is going to get really pissed off and one day invent antigravity or better still- teleportation. If Star Trek had cell phones and they are a reality now, how far in time can teleportation be ? Captain to Enterprise…Energise !!

Kikar Lodge and The last time I did something for the first time

This is not a write up about an amorous one night stand as I would like it to be. But in terms making a mark in my grey cells and associated adrenaline rush, I would rank it much higher than many similar events in my lifetime. Doing something for the first time feels like being born again; being able to cut loose and take a flight like the butterfly out of its cocoon. This is such an event.  

It all starts when we connect with old friends from college. These are people you feel of your own kind, whom you've been with in the prime of your youth. The bonding is maybe because of many crazy things you did together. Some things you like to remember and some you advise your kith and kin to be as far away as possible.

There are many forces at work which creates a need to meet these people. Makes you get that high once again. A feeling that you experienced at that time and your craving need at this time now to relive that once again. So when the call of a reunion beckon, the engineers who graduated from Panjab University in 1994 scurry online to arrive at a common agreed date.  

Kikar Lodge was my idea out of a few locations that were circulated and it was proposed considering it was a good getaway 25 kms from Ropar in rural Punjab. Once the dates were finalized, there were plans made for 12 odd guys. The unavoidable turn of events made me lose two eventful days of the reunion and eventually I was left with one day with a drive from  Chandigarh to the lodge all alone. This is where the action starts.

The idea of having reunion at this kind of location was with the presumption to get as far away from the regular life that one experiences. Although getting away from the telecom network connection was getting a bit too carried away on this but that was the way it was meant to be. With only BSNL network at the location (which doesn’t allow roaming by other network providers), it was hard to get in touch with the people who were already in the lodge.

As we are aware that driving alone, time expands and the journey becomes longer. And as luck would have it, there was no clear instructions on what road one had to take after Ropar. So although I followed the trustworthy Google Maps, it showed me two roads leading to the destination. I initially took the highway route as I usually take that good road on the way to Manali. I soon realized that it was not the correct route as it would take much more time than anticipated. Moreover, it was supposed to be a village route after a while. So I turned around and took the other route. The regular crowded streets of Ropar were left far behind when I took a turn from the highway towards a village called Nurpur Bedi. Glancing at the watch, I realized it took a long time to come to the correct route and now it was already 9 PM. Although not a full moon, it was a moonlit night. The road was a single lane well constructed village road and there were only a few vehicles that came my way. The thick foliage with tall grass on both sides of the road which  lit up whenever I turned my vehicle on curves added to the dramatic surroundings. The road appeared to be never ending. It had so many twists and turns and also at times went through small hillocks. After an hour or so of driving alone without a mobile network, I was told that one needs to just ask somebody about Kikar lodge and it was supposedly an important landmark.

So the petrol pump attendant gave directions….After 5 kms take left. What he did not tell me was there were at least three left turns and no soul at sight. I just trusted my gut feeling and took a turn. The street started becoming narrow by the meter and I found myself in the middle of a village looking inside houses. Still no soul at sight. It looked like a scene from a thriller when I saw a man walking his huge dog at a location like this. I took my chances and asked for directions. As luck would have it, I had taken a wrong turn and it was the turn BEFORE the next village. I was back on the main road and on my way.

What made this moonlit road journey through the woods more memorable was the anticipation of meeting old friends for a day. So usually when after long journey one feels tired, I found myself bubbling with energy when I finally reached. I was in high spirits and the beer had not even started.

The party went on for some time and some guys kept taking mini naps around in the same rooms we were chatting and others continued to share old memories/new aspirations late in the night. Almost like a dream, a day passed and it was time to bid adieu to everyone.

So although travel through a narrow road and driving through a rural village in a moonlit night in interiors of Distt Ropar was the last time I did something for the first time, I pen this down primarily because of the time spent in the lodge around guys with whom I could just be me. There being no hint of any acquired personalities and everyone being themselves and sharing nearly all the things about your life, past and present. And with no one judging anyone. That was maybe a thing which I had not done for a very long time. This is surely something that needs to be done again and again.

But definitely not the drive again to Kikar because I once again would have the need to do something for the first time.

Child is the father of man

There is a time when you realize that some things taught to you earlier in school were not merely based on some assumptions and non-sensical events but rather on factual data collected over a period of many generations.I narrate to you one such experience which may be classified as a coincidence of sorts but it does sound rather strange.

Some of my close friends that I've spent time with in the past may  be aware that I am a movie buff....not the kind which gives reviews but the kind who just want to get away from it all into a different imaginary world in which one gets fits in...One which we have ourselves experienced or have seen others in that position. Some of the imaginary world are inviting and relaxing while others are rather disturbing. Now-a-days I prefer to go to ‘Happy’ movies with happy endings  which keeps me in good mood long afterwards.

Well...This Sunday morning I, alongwith my son, made way to the theater where we had prior advance booking.

This particular Sunday was different though. I was preferring to see the Tom Cruise thriller -- Édge of Tommorow'   and my son was keen on 'How to train your Dragon-2'.  I put all my negotiating skills at work the previous night when the booking was being made and my son reluctantly agreed to see this action packed movie starring my favorite star from  'Top Gun'. After all, this could be the last week it be in Theater. However, the turn of events resulted in a different ending to the story.

We entered the theater which I remember was Screen No.1 (there are three screens) in the cinema hall. As we were nearly on time, we quickly settled on our seats in anticipation. After the usual ads and national anthem, it came as  a surprise to me that the movie started in animation…By the time I was figuring what was wrong…… a person came up to me and said, ‘Excuse me, these are my seats.’’  ‘’How could that be ?’’  I thought. However, keeping my cool, I opened my wallet to show and prove that the actual right of sitting on that seat was mine.

Lo and behold. Both the tickets showed the same numbers and same screen. It was major goof up by the system. I recalled the olden  times when tickets were torn from a booklet and given to you. Those could not be duplicated at all.  I felt that this was as serious a matter as allowing another passenger to board the flight with the same seat indicated on the boarding pass. This was serious stuff on a Sunday Morning and this surely did not, by far,  have the makings of a happy ending. Where was the DGCA official when I wanted one.

On the other hand, my son was cool as a cucumber. After all, it was a movie which he always wanted to watch in the first place.  So I had to move out of the hall and inquire about this system issue. I showed it to the usher and he was also amazed to learn about the problem. Then the supervisor came and I started to indicate that the movie I wanted to watch was not on and demanded the seats in the other hall where it was on. The supervisor, matter of factly, indicated the time of my show- It was 10.30 PM and we were 12 hours early in the hall. I had during the booking somehow by mistake, booked the late night movie instead of the morning one. I was definitely on a different flight and this needed to be in the prime time news ! So option was to go back home and return to the movie late in the night.

My son, on the other hand, had other ideas. He wanted to watch ‘this’movie only since he was already here. There was discussion on the time, energy and money spent on reaching the place. So in the end, here I was,  sitting in the third row watching ‘How to train your dragon-2 ’which made my mind wander back many years when I had seen ‘Top Gun’’ from the front row.

I realized that my sons' desire  for watching that movie was much more than mine and somehow, the sequence of events resulted in us watching that movie which he wanted.

Concluding that the child is the father of man, I replied in affirmative when, after the movie my son asked rather innocently and probingly about my liking for the movie. After all, next sunday was not far away. 

I am yet to watch the movie I wanted.  My regrets to Tom Cruise.

The curious case of the unsatisfied mosquitoes

Mosquitoes are not one of my favourite bugs. In fact I detest them. Bloodsuckers ! Parasites !! - as Captain Haddock would have put it mildly. We humans toil to manufacture all the oxygen rich blood through many processes which involves breaking complex foods by our bodies. And here comes this puny little twerp who, on the other hand, easily gets to have his dinner due to an efficient evolutionary radar meant for human sweat and Carbon Dioxide. 

             Having said that, the mosquito also sometimes behaves like us humans. Interested to know more about this. Read on...

              As we all know ''inquisitiveness'' is one of the things that made the human beings different from other living organisms. We got out of the sea....climbed trees...stood erect...domesticated animals and stuff like that. It also made us grow intellectually. This is not referring to the kind of education we have forced on ourselves and I'm not going down that path. What I mean is that the simple mosquito is just as inquisitive.

               The Mumbai seashore, where I live,  is mostly covered by mangroves which has rich flora and fauna as well as a variety of mosquitos. It houses nearly all kinds...like the ones in Siliguri, West Bengal or  Bharuch, Gujarat or Alleppey, Kerela. I mention these places because I remember the mosquitoes these places have. Really terrible ones. They have somehow migrated to Mumbai (just like us humans and the pink flamingos that visit Mumbai). 

               Well, if we follow these multicultural and cosmopolitan mosquitoes in the late evenings, they tend to look around for a good place for dinner. Open windows on any floor are preferred (including mine which happens to be on the 10th floor). I figured out how they manage that but that is another story. The invaders will try all possible ways to sneak in even if the windows are closed. The strange behaviour that I've observed about this is that once they are in, and when the ambient light reduces, they want to go back out and stick to the windows from the inside.

                This behaviour of mosquitoes showing their unsatisfied nature even when they got what they wanted  always intrigued me till I realised a familiar behaviour exhibited by us humans all the time. We try hard to acquire things and when we get it, we go on in pursuit of still other desirable things. This cycle of wants and needs keeps us unsatisfied which pushes us to grow in more ways than one.

               The similarity does not end here. As indicated earlier, there are a variety of mosquitoes from different regions...the steady ones, small ones, the fat ones, ones who can't move after eating, the clever ones, ones you can hear but can't see, ones that carry the deadly viruses, ones that are fatal, ones who circle on your head driving you crazy, ones who just want your blood (they'll stop for nothing and try to keep poking even through your jeans), ones that get stuck inside your mosquito net, ones that attack your legs under the table, etc etc. Sounds familiar. Welcome ! You are now officially a member of the unsatisfied human blood suckers awareness club. 

Flight MH 370

I am very late in this post. I actually wanted a closure on this story before I posted this but unfortunately it is yet to happen till date. There was something about this Malaysian flight, which went missing with 239 people on board from 14 countries, that moved me and made me glued to any news that connected to those who vanished without a trace in the ocean. 

           So, here I was all battle ready since the disappearance of the aircraft and for the next one month (inspite of the rigorous year ending schedule in March), I would religiously follow the story on CNN the first thing in the morning and monitor it nearly real time on the web and on chats. In other words, I was obsessed by it. Even my 12 year old son was surprised about my new found interest. I  tracked the story very closely and as I would soon discover, so were other people who felt the same. I was amazed at the total air time, energy and assets all the countries were already deploying for this and continued to do so. The interest of the media waned over a period and dedicated airtime reduced. They say that time heals everything and a month down the lane, the personal feeling also no longer remains as strong. Thats how it is with us humans, I guess. You move on.    

         Whenever I fly, I have always felt safe knowing that all aircrafts are monitored in real time by the ATCs and our Air Force is always on the alert. So it makes you wonder when you come across such an instance, in such an age, where such a large aircraft (nearly as big as a football field) just disappears from the face of the earth. In this age where its possible to ascertain where your cell phone is after it gets lost. In this age when pets are monitored real time through their collar sims and offenders have tracking bracelets on their ankles. So this was a bit something more than what I could digest easily.

             It has been decided by Malaysian Airlines that it would not allocate the number 370 to any of its other flights. So what has a number got to do with it ? Well a lot perhaps, as this website suggests.   (http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.in/2011/08/angel-number-370.html ) .This was probably done to erase any memory of the flight. However, any news related to aviation safety will change all that and the number is never going to be erased from the memories of this generation as long as there are aviation related incidents and as long as there is gravity. 

            Interestingly, there are theories of aliens taking the plane as they had people of most of the ethinicity on board. There are also theories that indicate that the flight never existed. (http://truthernews.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/10-reasons-why-flight-370-never-existed-nuclear-drone-strike-on-d-c-or-nyc-imminent/ )Apart from the above sites, in the process of monitoring the event, I came to know about a cloud sourcing website which  invited anyone on the web just to scan the oceans for any wreckage.(www.tomnod.com). There also are sites that display real time  data on aircrafts ( www.flightradar24.com) and marine traffic  ( www.marinetraffic.com ) . 

             So eventually the batteries on the black box completed its lifespan and and there is no trace of the plane yet. The location which has been shortlisted has an average depth of about 5000 mtrs and it would be humanly impossible to locate the aircraft. Even if does, it would mean expenditure of millions of dollars. My heart goes out to all the family members of the people on board especially those of the crew who are now also seen as suspects.For all I know, the pilots may be heroes. (http://www.wired.com/2014/03/mh370-electrical-fire/ ) 

              Earlier today, as I looked outside the window of my car, I saw the number plate of one of the vehicles  and the number 370 looks me at my face which transports me back once again. Thats how it is with us humans, I guess. You hold on.